Modifiers, Parallelism and Mixed Constructions

This is Unit Six of College Composition. Unit Five drew a line from every pronoun back to its noun. This unit checks three more connections inside the sentence: modifiers to their targets, matched items to each other, and the two halves of a sentence. Carry one idea through this lecture. Each of these errors is a sentence whose parts do not fit together, so each is found by asking what the parts set up and whether the rest delivers it. A worked example at the end finds four such errors in one short paragraph. By the end you will be able to place modifiers beside their targets. To fix dangling and limiting modifiers. To keep related items parallel. And to repair mixed constructions and faulty predication.

Six entries on modifiers: what they describe, where they belong, the dangling modifier and its repair, limiting words, and overuse.

Words that describe.

CMP 0126 Adjectives and Adverbs

Adjectives describe nouns, and adverbs describe verbs, adjectives or other adverbs. In "The careful editor worked quickly," careful describes the editor, and quickly describes how the editor worked. Readers draw most meaning from subjects and verbs, so piling up adjectives and adverbs weakens a sentence rather than strengthening it.

Describing the wrong thing.

CMP 0127 Misplaced Modifiers

A misplaced modifier is a describing word or phrase placed where it seems to describe the wrong thing. "We saw a deer driving to work" suggests the deer was driving; "Driving to work, we saw a deer" puts the phrase beside its target. Place a modifier next to the word it describes; the closer the better.

Describing someone who is not there.

CMP 0128 Dangling Modifiers

A dangling modifier describes something that is not named in the sentence at all, so it attaches to the wrong word. "Walking down the street, the rain started" makes the rain the walker, because the person walking never appears. Dangling modifiers usually open the sentence; check that the word right after the comma is the one doing the action.

Two ways to fix a dangler.

CMP 0129 Fixing a Dangling Modifier

A dangling modifier is fixed by naming the doer. Ask who or what the opening phrase describes. In "Covered in syrup, Jamie ate the pancakes," it is the pancakes, so move them beside the phrase or write "syrup-covered pancakes." For an action phrase, such as "Walking down the street, the rain started," either make the doer the subject, "I felt the rain start," or turn the phrase into a clause, "As I walked down the street." Moving words is not enough if the doer is still missing; the person has to appear in the sentence.

Only, almost and even.

CMP 0130 Limiting Modifiers

Limiting words such as only, almost, nearly, hardly and even change meaning depending on where they sit. "She almost drove for ten hours" means she did not drive; "She drove for almost ten hours" means she drove a little under ten hours. Put a limiting word directly before the word it limits; speech is looser than writing here.

Too many modifiers.

CMP 0131 Overused Modifiers

Piling on adjectives and adverbs makes writing wordy without making it vivid. "The big, shiny, very large building was covered in many small, bright tiles" says less than "Mosaics covered the building." Cut a modifier when a more precise noun or verb can do its work, and keep the ones that add real detail.

Three entries on parallel structure: the principle, lists, and longer phrases and clauses.

Matching related ideas.

CMP 0132 Parallel Structure

Parallelism means giving related ideas the same grammatical form, which creates balance and makes them easier to remember. Items joined by and or or, or compared in a pair, should match: nouns with nouns, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses. Faulty parallelism is a frequent revision item, because one item usually sounds acceptable alone.

Lists that match.

CMP 0133 Parallelism in Lists

Every item in a list should take the same grammatical form. "Exercises include crunches, leg lifts, and when you do push-ups" breaks the pattern; "crunches, leg lifts and push-ups" keeps three nouns. Check the last item in a list; it is the one that most often changes form.

Phrases and clauses in pairs.

CMP 0134 Parallel Clauses and Phrases

Parallelism applies to longer units as well: phrases should match phrases and clauses should match clauses. "Activists, who support the plan, and ranchers and people who are opposed" is unbalanced; "activists, who support the plan, and ranchers, who oppose it" pairs two who clauses. When one side of a pair has a clause, give the other side one too.

Six entries on mixed constructions: what they are, the interrupted subject, changing paths, is when and is where, because clauses as subjects, and faulty predication.

Two grammatical paths in one sentence.

CMP 0135 Mixed Constructions

A mixed construction begins a sentence on one grammatical path and switches to another, so the parts do not fit together. These errors happen when writers change direction partway through a sentence, often in drafts written quickly. A mixed sentence can contain no single wrong word and still fail; read it as a whole to see whether the parts connect.

A second subject cuts in.

CMP 0136 A Subject Interrupted

One kind of mixed construction starts a subject and then interrupts it with a second subject. "Learning to dance it has shown greater agility" collides because it cuts in before the verb; "Dancing has been shown to increase agility" fits together. A pronoun repeating the subject, as in "For people with hobbies, they are happier," signals this error.

An opening that cannot be a subject.

CMP 0137 Changing Paths Midsentence

Another mixed construction opens with a phrase that cannot serve as the subject and then uses it as one. "By starting my classes early gave me time" fails, because a by phrase cannot be a subject; "Starting my classes early gave me time" or "By starting early, I had time" fits. Fix either half, but make both halves agree.

Defining with when or where.

CMP 0138 Is When and Is Where

Defining something with is when or is where is a mixed construction common in speech but not in academic writing. "A feeling of accomplishment is when I finish a paper" equates a feeling with a time; write "I feel accomplished when I finish a paper." After is, use a noun or an adjective that renames or describes the subject.

Because as a subject.

CMP 0139 A Because Clause Is Not a Subject

Using a because clause as the subject of does not mean is a mixed construction to avoid in writing. "Because I want the job does not mean I will get it" becomes "Wanting the job does not guarantee it" or "Although I want the job, I may not get it." Spoken patterns can sound fine and still mix grammar.

Subject and predicate that do not fit.

CMP 0140 Faulty Predication

Faulty predication pairs a subject with a predicate that cannot logically apply to it. "The required qualification is someone who writes well" equates a qualification with a person; "The required qualification is the ability to write well" fixes it. "Nurses are a career" should be "Nursing is a career." Ask whether the subject can really do or be what the predicate says.

Two repair procedures, then a worked example. The opening idea is paid off at the last.

Making items match.

CMP 0141 Repairing Parallelism

Repairing faulty parallelism means finding the items that should match and rewriting the odd one out. Find the joining words and list the items they join. Name each item's form, find the form most share, and rewrite the odd one. In "I start my day with breakfast, exercising and checking the news," breakfast is a noun, so the sentence becomes "by eating breakfast, exercising and checking the news." Check that the shared opening word fits every item. If one item really is a different idea, it may belong in its own sentence.

Choosing which half to keep.

CMP 0142 Repairing Mixed Constructions

A mixed construction is repaired by deciding which half to keep and rewriting the other to fit. Find where the sentence changes direction. Ask what grammar the first half sets up, a subject waiting for a verb or a linking verb waiting for a noun, and what the second half supplies instead. Rewrite one half. If the error is is when, is where or a because clause as subject, rewrite with a real noun or a clear cause. Many mixed constructions try to say two things at once, so two sentences can be clearer than one.

Four errors, one paragraph.

CMP 0143 A Paragraph of Structure Errors

A worked example, constructed for this course, pays off the opening idea. "Hoping to save money, the bus pass was purchased by Maria" makes the pass the hoper, so Maria is named as the doer. A list of goals mixes saving, to reduce and avoiding, so all three take the i n g form. "The reason she switched is because" states the cause twice, so the sentence becomes "She switched because the garage raised its rates." And only sits before rode when it should limit the weekdays, so it moves beside them. Each sentence is understandable on a quick reading, which is why such errors survive drafting; readers feel the strain without naming it.

Look at what you can now do. You can place modifiers beside the words they describe, place limiting words such as only directly before the word they limit, and cut modifiers that add no detail. You can repair a dangling modifier by putting the doer into the sentence. You can keep lists, pairs, phrases and clauses in parallel form. And you can repair mixed constructions, is when definitions and faulty predication, choosing which half of the sentence to keep. Unit Seven turns to the comma.