Early Childhood: Self and Others

This is Unit Six, part one, on the young child's self, self-control, autism, gender and ethnic identity, and parenting style. Unit Five closed on play. Unit Six turns to the self and to others in the same years, three to six. Carry one question through this part: which claims about young children hold up, and which travel further than their evidence? A famous test of waiting, a leading therapy and the rules children make about gender each carry a claim worth testing. At the entry on the marshmallow test, the part shows a real skill, and a prediction that did not survive. By the end you will be able to describe the young child's self-concept and self-esteem. To explain what the marshmallow test does and does not show. To state the evidence for ABA and the neurodiversity critique. To put gender labelling, stability and constancy in order. And to tell authoritarian from authoritative parenting.

Six entries on the young child's self: initiative, self-concept, first traits, self-esteem, and emotions shaped by culture.

Erikson's third crisis.

HGD 0751 Initiative Versus Guilt

Erikson's third crisis, initiative versus guilt, from about three to six, is gaining confidence to reach out to others and act independently, like a four-year-old asking to pour her own juice and lead the game at recess. Encouragement builds initiative; rejection, or being taught that approaching others is rude, can build guilt and wariness.

How young children describe themselves.

HGD 0752 Self-Concept at Three to Six

A self-concept is the set of beliefs one holds about oneself. At three it holds basic facts: name, gender, age and relationships. A four-year-old describes herself by interests, I like dinosaurs and I can run fast. Early self-descriptions stay concrete, not evaluative; by eight, children include skills and personality traits.

The first signs of personality.

HGD 0753 Five Factors in Childhood

By about five, personality begins to emerge, and the Five Factor Model's traits, openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism, appear in early childhood. A hardworking, persevering child is high in conscientiousness. Young children's traits are not yet stable, though; behaviour swings with context.

Two traits often misdefined.

HGD 0754 Agreeableness and Neuroticism

Agreeableness is a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic; neuroticism is a tendency to experience negative emotions, sometimes called emotional instability, as in a child easily upset by small frustrations. Neuroticism is not the same as being mean.

Self-esteem in early childhood.

HGD 0755 Self-Esteem in Early Childhood

Self-esteem is one's evaluation of oneself. At three and four it rests mainly on caregivers' feedback, and most four-year-olds rate themselves better than others. A kindergartner's self-rating may drop a little as she compares herself with classmates. The misconception is that the dip signals a problem. It is typical, as self-views become realistic.

Emotions shaped by culture.

HGD 0756 Self-Conscious Emotions and Culture

Self-conscious emotions such as shame and pride mature around five, and cultures shape how children learn to feel and display them. In parts of Nepal, some parents ignore a child's shame while others respond with support, and in one study Hungarian girls were encouraged less than boys to feel and show pride.

Five entries on self-control, including the most famous study of waiting. The opening question is answered here.

Thinking about one's own mind.

HGD 0757 Metacognition and Self-Regulation

Metacognition is thinking about one's own thinking, memories and emotions. Self-regulation, controlling emotional reactions, becomes more independent with neurological maturity, shifting from caregiver-assisted in infancy to self-directed, like a five-year-old who uses words instead of a tantrum and asks a teacher for help.

Waiting for a reward.

HGD 0758 Delay of Gratification

Delay of gratification, waiting for a larger later reward over a smaller one now, develops between about three and six. Offered one marshmallow now or two later, most three-year-olds eat at once and most six-year-olds wait. Waiting draws on attention control, planning, working memory and coping, which children develop unevenly.

The payoff: the marshmallow test, weighed.

HGD 0759 The Marshmallow Test

Around nineteen seventy, Walter Mischel and colleagues offered preschoolers one small treat now, or two if they could wait. Follow-up work by Mischel's group reported that children who waited longer at four went on to better academic performance and better health, and those findings travelled into claims that waiting predicts success in school, work and relationships. In twenty eighteen, Watts, Duncan and Quan re-examined the question. The associations were much smaller, and most became nonsignificant once family background and early cognitive ability were controlled. That answers this part's question. Waiting is a real skill, and the task still measures it. What collapsed is the leap from one afternoon to a whole life, unit one's third-variable problem: background and early ability can drive both the waiting and the success. The task holds up as a measure; the sweeping prediction does not.

Emotional intelligence in preschoolers.

HGD 0760 Emotional Intelligence in Preschoolers

Emotional intelligence is understanding and responding appropriately to one's own and others' emotions. In early childhood it includes calming, planning and perspective-taking, as when a five-year-old notices a friend is sad and offers her a turn on the swing, along with attentional control, empathy and assertive communication, saying what one wants without aggression.

How caregivers can build it.

HGD 0761 Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching, described by John Gottman, treats a child's emotions as chances to teach: validating them and helping the child name and regulate them, as a parent kneels beside a crying child and names the anger. Coaching promotes emotional competence; dismissing or disapproving responses do not. The course describes the finding without advising parents.

Three entries on autism: what it is, its early signs, and a debate over the leading therapy.

Autism spectrum disorder.

HGD 0762 Autism Spectrum Disorder

Autism spectrum disorder involves persistent deficits in social communication and interaction, with restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour. The CDC identifies about one in thirty-one eight-year-olds, from twenty twenty-two data, with autism identified over three times as often in boys and diagnosed most often around four and a half. Many are diagnosed later, even in adulthood.

Early signs, and careful diagnosis.

HGD 0763 Early Signs of Autism

Early signs of autism include difficulty with eye contact, back-and-forth responding, understanding others' perspectives and verbal communication. A child learning a second language, a shy child, or one with a language-processing disorder can show similar signs, so diagnosis belongs to specialists. Many in the autistic community prefer identity-first language, such as autistic child.

Autism therapy, and the neurodiversity view.

HGD 0764 Autism, ABA and Neurodiversity

Applied behaviour analysis, ABA, has been the leading approach to autism for more than sixty years. It applies operant conditioning, rewarding desired behaviour and coaching social, motor and language skills, often intensively, and research on early ABA finds improvements in cognitive, social and language skills. Neurodiversity advocates raise criticisms: ABA has in the past used punishment; it can be rigid and demand many hours a week; and most fundamentally, its goal has sometimes been to make autistic children appear non-autistic, which may push them to mask at a personal cost. The neurodiversity view treats autism as a lifelong difference, not a defect to be removed. Both sides make claims the evidence supports, and the disagreement is partly about goals. The course states both views and does not recommend a therapy.

Six entries on gender: sex and gender, three milestones of understanding, and where children's gender rules come from.

Sex, and gender.

HGD 0765 Sex and Gender

Biological sex has physical, anatomical, genetic, chromosomal and hormonal components; gender has psychological, social and cultural ones, including boy, girl, or outside the binary. Unit four covered how gender identity begins; early childhood is when children's understanding of gender takes shape.

Three milestones of gender understanding.

HGD 0766 Gender Labelling, Stability and Constancy

Children's understanding of gender develops in three steps. Labelling comes first: most children can label their own gender by about three. Gender stability follows at about four: boys grow into men and girls into women, though a new haircut may still seem to change a person's gender. Gender constancy arrives between about three and six: gender persists across superficial changes. A four-year-old may be sure a boy in a dress becomes a girl, and laugh at the idea at six. Gender schema theory is a different account, of the categories children sort people into. After constancy, thinking about gender rules usually grows more flexible.

How preschoolers enforce gender rules.

HGD 0767 Gender Rules Like Game Rules

Preschoolers often treat gender like the rules of a game: rigid, enforced on peers, with strong preferences for same-gender play, as when a four-year-old tells a classmate that boys cannot wear pink. The misconception is that such policing shows prejudice. It reflects developing cognition, and flexibility grows after gender constancy.

Gender schema theory.

HGD 0768 Gender Schema Theory

Gender schema theory holds that children actively sort others' behaviour, activities and attributes into gender categories, called schemas, which then shape what they notice. A child may forget a story's male nurse but remember its female nurse. Schema-consistent information is remembered better, so schemas strengthen, and research gives this account more support than social learning alone.

How gender is taught at home.

HGD 0769 Gender Socialization at Home

Children infer gender rules from who does which chores at home, a pattern seen in gay, lesbian and heterosexual families alike. Girls are rewarded for cooperation and empathy, boys for assertiveness and strength. Mothers tend to respond to a child's personality, while fathers more often enforce gender stereotypes.

Peers, siblings, and media.

HGD 0770 Peers, Siblings and Media

Same-gender peer groups converge on shared interests, and children with an other-gender sibling play more with counter-stereotypical toys. Toy aisles and advertisements have been divided by colour and gender since the nineteen nineties. Children's media often show stereotyped roles, though recent programmes include more varied and non-binary characters.

Two entries on ethnic-racial identity, which develops in steps much like gender's.

Three milestones of ethnic-racial identity.

HGD 0771 Ethnic-Racial Identity

Ethnic-racial identity develops through three early milestones. Ethnic labelling is using the labels a child's culture provides. Ethnic knowledge grows from food, holidays and customs to awareness of stereotypes and discrimination. Ethnic constancy arrives around six: a child understands that joining a friend's Lunar New Year celebration does not change her own ethnicity. Children of racialized groups are often more aware of stereotypes and discrimination at young ages. The steps parallel gender labelling, stability and constancy. A developed ethnic-racial identity supports a sense of belonging.

How families teach about ethnicity.

HGD 0772 Racial-Ethnic Socialization

Racial-ethnic socialization is how families teach about ethnicity and race. Cultural socialization builds pride through heritage, cooking, music, language and stories, like a grandmother teaching family recipes and songs in the family's first language. It is linked to better social skills, academic outcomes and mental health, and some families also prepare children for bias.

Two entries to close the part: the two dimensions of parenting, and the two styles high in control.

What a parenting style is.

HGD 0773 Parenting Style

A parenting style is how a caregiver provides structure, feedback and emotional support. Diana Baumrind described styles along two dimensions, warmth and control: two parents can have the same rules, one explaining them warmly and one issuing them coldly. Maccoby and Martin later added a fourth style, giving four combinations.

Two styles high in control.

HGD 0774 Authoritarian and Authoritative

Authoritarian parents are high in control and low in warmth, demanding obedience without negotiation: because I said so. Authoritative parents combine high warmth with firm, explained structure: here's why the rule matters. Children of authoritative parents tend to compromise and cope well; those of authoritarian parents may become wary or rebellious.

Look at what you can now do. You can describe the young child's self: concrete facts and interests, with self-esteem high at four and dipping, typically, at school entry. You can explain the marshmallow test: waiting is a real skill that grows from three to six, while the claim that it predicts life success shrank once family background and early ability were controlled. You can state both sides on ABA: documented gains in skills, and the neurodiversity critique of masking and conformity. You can put gender understanding in order: labelling by three, stability by four, constancy between three and six. And you can tell authoritarian parenting, control without warmth, from authoritative, warmth with explained structure. Part two covers two styles low in control.