Revising for Pronoun Clarity

In practice

This worked example is constructed for this course. The draft reads: "When the students met with the dean, they said the new schedule was unfair. This was a surprise. The committee will present their decision next week, and its expected to favor the students. If you are a commuter, the change matters most to you. Between you and I, the dean seemed sympathetic." Check each pronoun. In the first sentence, they could mean the students or the dean and other staff; since the students raised the complaint, name them: "the students said." In the second sentence, this points at no noun: the complaint, or the meeting? Write "The complaint surprised the dean." In the third, the committee acts as one body, so their should be its; and its expected needs an apostrophe because it means it is: "it's expected," or better, "The decision is expected." In the fourth, you shifts the point of view from third person to second; write "The change matters most to commuters." In the fifth, between takes objects, so "between you and me," and in a formal report the phrase is best dropped entirely. The revised paragraph names its actors, keeps the committee singular, and holds one point of view.