College Composition / Unit 18 CMP 0439 worked example, 60 to 90 seconds
Revising Tone
The idea
Revising tone means reading a draft for its attitude and adjusting the words that project the wrong one.
In practice
Work in order. First, name the tone the piece should have, given its audience, purpose and genre: professional, neutral, urgent, admiring. Second, read the draft and mark words and sentences whose attitude differs: sarcasm, exaggeration, casual slang, dismissive remarks. Third, for each mark, replace charged words with neutral or precise ones, and replace exaggeration with specific claims. Fourth, check openings and conclusions, where tone often drifts toward the dramatic. Fifth, read the draft aloud, listening for any sentence that sounds like a different speaker.
Where people slip
Neutral tone is not the same as weak claims. A writer can argue firmly in a professional tone; what changes is the language around the claim, not its strength.
Your place on the trail
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